Saturday, March 30, 2024

FROM THE RIDGE: Jane says it’s not a pretty sight

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I finished writing last week’s column late on the Wednesday night, right on deadline as usual and thought I might as well stay up another half hour to see the clock roll over into New Zealand’s first ever complete lockdown. It was a somewhat unsatisfactory experience, much like Y2K or any New Year’s Eve. One minute after midnight felt very much like the minute before.
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So, I woke Jane when I went to bed to tell her it was the start of our four-week bubble together. She told me not to do that again. A bad start.

Day 1. Next morning I told her I, Dean, Dean’s dad and maybe hundreds of others had given up shaving for the duration because no one was going to see us. She pointed out she is going to see me and she didn’t like it. Under pressure but I decided to not welch on Dean and figure she doesn’t have a lot of choice in this particular bubble. We don’t even have a cat or a house dog. Just her and me.

I drive into Waipukurau to do my radio show. Not having any papers to prove that I’m an essential industry I take my passport for want of a better idea to flash at any cordons or police officers. Pretty disappointed not to run into either.

I usually park in the service lane as I’m often jogging up the stairs to read the live weather forecast and can’t take the chance of not getting a park. Today I do take my chance, park right outside the front door of the station and take a photo of my ute and a distant postal van being the only vehicles in Ruataniwha Street, But a lot of folk are out for a walk.

It has the feel of Christmas Day, just not as much fun.

Day 2. Empty the mouse traps. That’s 30 now. Regretting not having a cat anymore. It’s like a biblical plague.

Thinking about how essential industries are occupations society was looking down its nose at or paying poorly just two weeks earlier. Like cleaners, bus drivers, plumbers, rubbish collectors, nurses and yes, farmers and food producers.

Day 3. It feels pretty much like normal except the tennis coach is not zooming in and out of town. Petrol and personal expenditure are plummeting so it’s not all bad. Can’t go to Saturday golf as the course is closed so think instead of farming. I might actually make a start on cleaning my workshop as it is the bane of my life. I’d love mine to look like other farmers’ but it’s steady state seems to be a complete shambles. Watch funny covid videos and do emails all afternoon instead.

We drink a bottle of cheap bubbly and Jane announces that’s the last alcohol we are drinking till next weekend. I remonstrate and tell her it’s a stressful time and it’s my only vice. However, finally agree on the grounds that when we get this virus, probably best to have the liver in as good a shape as possible.

Day 4; Catch my 40th mouse in the house. Given Hawke’s Bay has Covid-19, Mycoplasma bovis, TB, water shortages, feed shortages and processing difficulties I go outside and scan the skies for locusts but none seen. Think it is good the cattle aren’t in charge of cleaning up the coronavirus given our strategy to get rid of M bovis.

I go and knock a few old willow trees over for the cattle and keep as safe as I can because they are unpredictable brutes. Cutting fodder for stock is very third world but the cattle aren’t complaining.

Day 5. We did finally get some rain but only 12mm, making it just 60mm for the year. We Whats-Apped our son in London. Still got a job and doing his land survey work from his flat. His mother suggests he gets in a good supply of food but he tells her there are two Michelin three-star chefs on his street who are out of work and selling his flat meals at the door.

Day 6. The bubble is going better than expected. Limited disagreements except tonight when Jane thought we should have a drink and I was the one saying no.

Day 7. April Fools Day. We take ownership of Central FM with our partners Donald and Sereena. He’s the breakfast host and local news guy, I do the Cockies Hour. It was an excellent idea a month earlier. We wanted to keep it in local ownership rather than the network gobbling it up for the frequencies.

However, never has local community radio been so relevant.

We have a teleconference meeting on things to do so we don’t hold the record for the fastest business fail in history. We are pretty sure we can get to the other side, whenever that might be.

Mouse plague seems over so that’s one thing ticked off.

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