You might not remember me as he hasn’t mentioned me all year but I’m Ditch, the dog he found in the watertable as a very small puppy that some sod dumped.
I was a cute puppy but when I turned into a teenager it was touch and go whether I’d make the grade given my exuberance and general clumsiness. They even thought I was a rottweiler for a time but turned out I wasn’t.
But he could tell I was smart. I soon learned how to open Gin’s kennel so she could come out to play and I figured out how to push over the dog biscuit barrel and help myself.
I’ve got a few odd mannerisms that have him scratching his head.
It doesn’t matter where he puts the feeding bowl I always seem to fill it with piddle by the next day. He wonders if maybe dogs can be diabetic as my urine appears to be sweet as there are always drowned bees in it when he has to tip it out.
Also, because I’ve never seen another dog, when I do pee when having a run, I squat like Gin. He wondered whether to try to train me to do it like a proper dog but has better things to do with his time.
I’m also obsessed with rabbits and spend much of my day watching them when I’m in the kennel or tied up. It’s like they enjoy teasing me because they come up quite close. When he lets me off for a run I’m after them and boy can they run fast and change direction on a penny.
I’ve only ever caught a couple and have now learned to come straight back to him when he calls even if I’m in the middle of a chase.
But, on the positive side, he enjoys mustering with me as I’ve curbed my enthusiasm and I’m not too bad in the yards.
Last year I wrote how Gin had just had a litter of unplanned pups. There was speculation that I might have been the father but it turned out the boss’s son’s visiting heading dog Mate was the villain. Seems the boss was the only cocky not to know dogs can do it through the netting.
He kept one of the pups and called her Meg. She has a white stripe down her forehead so is named after the drummer from the White Stripes.
But Meg turned out even odder than me.
She was fixated on hedgehogs and had a remarkable ability to seek them out and bring them back in her mouth to the kennels.
Surprisingly, he managed to convince the Department of Conservation to take her as a trained hedgehog locating dog to help with the battle for the birds as he’s heard how hedgehogs eat native bird eggs.
Next time Gin was in heat he knew not to trust netting.
Pity he didn’t tell his lady about the hormones swirling around the kennels. She doesn’t often let the dogs go for a run but her timing was impeccable.
Now he’s got another couple of pups and this time there is no doubt who’s their daddy.
He is fond of saying “If all your dogs are useless, it’s probably not the dogs”.
I heard him telling one of his mates he reckons that fellow Geoff Gwyn who is the bloke from the Primary Industries Ministry who has fronted the campaign in the eradication against Mycoplasma bovis and faces a lot of pressure and criticism but remains steadfast and calm so should be named the rural person of the year.
Despite a lot of naysayers they might do the near impossible and eradicate this disease. But it has been tough on those who have had the disease on their properties.
I heard him promising his lady that he’d get all the chores done by Christmas and maybe they’d get a break in the new year and do something fun but they haven’t got a plan yet.
I hope the rest of you have a great festive season, catch up with family and friends and get to recharge the batteries with some rest and fun.
