The media has tried to be careful when dealing with this terrible subject.
We are mindful of the many people who have been affected and because research shows certain kinds of suicide reporting can increase suicidal behaviour in vulnerable people.
The Mental Health Foundation recommends media talk about suicide in a way that report facts and helps people think about consequences without endangering the lives of others or misleading people through inappropriate blame or over-simplification.
But avoiding the subject, as I have successfully done for more than two decades of writing this column, or downplaying it is obviously not working.
We see the number of people taking their own lives in this country continue to climb.
Our country has one of the highest suicide rates in the world. How can this be in such a great place to live? It’s obviously not so great for many people.
In the year ended June 30 there were 685 suicides, the highest number recorded. That is nearly twice the road toll and the equivalent of four 737s full of passengers.
I knew one of them and a couple the year before but not closely.
Many of us have been to suicide funerals.
Those 685 people left behind many thousands of people devastated by the act and they will forever be affected.
I’ve been fortunate myself. Despite my late father being bipolar I have never suffered from depression or anxiety. That’s not to say I won’t at some point in future.
If you haven’t had depression it is very difficult to understand why someone would do this to themselves and the people they love.
The rational thought is if things are so bad then just walk away or do something completely different.
Those who have dealt with depression themselves know this is nonsense. If it was that easy no one would ever take their life.
I have had dealings with folk who are depressed and anxiety-ridden and in recent times, an attempt at suicide.
I’ve been on committees that talk about how to look after our communities and latterly on a community resilience and wellbeing group working to prevent this scourge.
Despite that, a vet on this group and I have said if we do recognise distress in others we don’t really have the skills or confidence to know what to do next.
So, we have organised a workshop for the rural service industries in our area to learn just that next month.
Young Maori males, construction workers, young rural males and older male farmers are in the high-risk groups. For many reasons.
I’ve listened to Sir John Kirwan in the past and Mike King recently. They are very brave men and have excellent messages. But their experiences are different from those in rural communities. And if you are 20, they are very old.
However, I’ve just been to an event organised by young people, aimed mostly at young people and the issues they face.
I went along to the Puketapu pub to join in the Will to Live, Speak up Tour.
The pub was full of young folk, shepherds mostly.
Elle Perriam’s boyfriend Will took his life 20 months ago. Elle, Will’s sister and his best mate with some help from Elle’s sisters have driven this terrific initiative.
She never had any idea he had any mental health issues.
That is not uncommon with stoic, staunch rural folk.
I might have hoped the younger generations would be better at talking about their feelings and be prepared to reach out but in many cases it is not the case.
A key message from Perriam and the other young folk who spoke is that it is okay to ask for help.
A problem Perriam highlighted is that counselling is not always easy to access in remote, rural areas and it can take weeks to get appointments. It is hard to get a day off during busy periods such as lambing or shearing and often it is not in their culture for young people to ring a helpline.
Will’s death deeply affected Perriam and she had her own battles to overcome before putting together the campaign to help others.
I was hugely impressed with her and the other young people who spoke openly about their own battles and how they overcame them. They were incredibly brave and sharing their own stories will make it easier for others to open up.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help.
Tell your loved ones and mates you are struggling.
They will love and respect you more for it.
Go and see your GP or ring one of the many services only too keen to be of help.
We need to do a lot better about this discussion of suicide and Perriam and her friends are doing wonderful work.
Need help, then call:
• 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP), available 24/7
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737, available 24/7
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757 or TEXT 4202
• Rural Support Trust: 0800 787 254
