Thursday, March 28, 2024

FROM THE RIDGE: Is Collins a reincarnation of Rob Muldoon

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From the Ridge: Thanks Judith for agreeing to have a chat with us. Congratulations on finally securing the top job as leader of the National Party. I had a brief fancy that an unnamed homeless guy who tagged along at the back of caucus ended up being elected.
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Judith Collins: There’s one more job I’m after and that is not too far away. More than happy to talk to you, surprised you were interested.

FTR: I did think about that. I’ve never been tempted into having one of these illusory interviews with Jacinda, Simon or Todd but you are hard to resist. When you just told me about the other job you are after, I’m interested in how you can raise your eyebrow and smile at the same time and make yourself appear sinister, deadly serious and dangerous in the same moment. I’ve been trying to do it myself in the mirror but I just look goofy.

JC: Keep practising.

FTR: Great initials by the way. Reminds me of that anecdote when some wag handed David Lange a glass of water and challenged him to turn it into wine. He said he’d do one better and poured it onto the floor and walked on it.

JC: No, I hadn’t heard that one but I will be saving it up for the right moment.

FTR: Don’t worry about appropriating good jokes. One that is attributed to a past predecessor of yours is Muldoon’s line, “Every New Zealander who leaves this country to live in Australia raises the IQ of both countries”. We were all rather amused and impressed with Muldoon’s wit and it was years later that I discovered the joke was originally used by Will Rogers talking about the Okies moving to California. Muldoon might have pinched it but is still credited with it. You are National’s fifth leader in four years. That’s a faster turnover than Aussie prime ministers. It does look like you have been elected leader by your caucus to save the furniture as Mike Moore put it when he got the job as PM when Labour was in similar disarray in 1990. You’d have to think that if you are defeated in September that number will be six.

JC: I doubt that is a scenario that will play out. I plan on winning this election. That is why my colleagues have elected me their leader.

FTR: I admire your positive attitude, which of course you must portray. Losing both Kaye and Adams last week after a couple the week before makes your job tougher. It’s a long time since our last single-term government. It was Labour’s 1972-75 which was deeply wounded by the death of Norman Kirk in 1974 at just 51 years of age. Rowling was no match for the ferocious Muldoon. In a way you remind me a little of Rob.

JC: Well it’s time we had another single-term government then isn’t it? Arr, Arr, Arr.

FTR: You are channelling him. That’s just how he used to laugh. That brings us to talk about your style because that will be a big focus of the upcoming election. Like it or not, democratic elections have turned into a presidential type of contest. Muller started off saying he wasn’t going to oppose for opposition’s sake then immediately did just that. When in opposition it’s exceedingly difficult to do anything else if you want airtime. At your first press conference just after being elected leader you talked about crushing the Government and repeatedly talked about fighting. It doesn’t seem that your Crusher Collins image is going to be put to bed in favour of a more constructive and considered manner.

JC: I’m not going to be something I’m not. People will decide if they want to have the nice but not fit for rebuilding this country person leading them or me, I suppose.

FTR: Well, you won your own colleagues over on your third leadership attempt even though it’s well known many have never been fans. They’ve always claimed you are not a team player but now it’s your team. Its amazing what people will do when their own head is on the block. Core National Party folk will be delighted with you as leader but it remains to be seen how the floating voters of middle New Zealand react. I think you have a long shot at being our next PM with ACT’s help but that would require both NZ First and the Greens not making it over the 5% threshold and that could mean the redistributed votes could nudge Labour near the unattainable 50%. What do you think?

JC: I think you don’t know what you are talking about.

FTR: That’s fair enough. Whatever happens, it will be a fascinating election with two women with completely different styles head-to-head as we saw 20 years ago with Shipley and Clark. Good luck.

JC: Thank you.

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