I’ll come back to the cricketing farce later but my humour started its downward spiral with the front page of the local paper.
“Sheep linked to gastro outbreak” it screamed at me.
That can’t be right. The Greens, Fish and Game, Greenpeace and Mike Joy all told me it was dairying or intensive agriculture and not sheep.
Maybe all four will apologise to the dairy farmers of New Zealand for the malicious and unfounded attacks on their integrity.
In the article following the inflammatory headline you can read that the Hastings District Council water services manager said “the outbreak was probably caused by sheep faeces from two paddocks near the bores”.
“Probably caused by” coming from a vested interest has about as much credibility to me as Donald Trump at a gay pride parade.
There was flooding, ponds overflowing, a moribund council and corrupted bore but, hey, blame the sheep, they can’t answer back.
Further the council knew in 2008 water from the pond went into the bore. Would I drink pond water – hell no?
So the reality could have been that the rainwater ran off the hills and into the dam picking up some sheep manure on the way.
That sheets the problem back to two-legged animals, not four.
For the record, I also don’t believe a radio station made any effort to understand the full reasons behind the issue either. Simply and succinctly, I wouldn’t drink dam water and don’t blame sheep, they’re the lesser problem.
Which brings me to the farce that was the intended one-day international between Australia and NZ.
Jack, the perfect grandson is eight and a cricket fanatic who can give you game, set and match on any of the Black Caps.
To say he was excited about the prospect of seeing the Black Caps at an ODI for the first time would have been an understatement.
McLean Park is a great cricketing venue and the local staff are efficient and friendly.
Yes, it did rain until about 1.30pm but not much, about seven mm in all.
The pitch was inspected at 3pm, with a start predicted for 4.30pm.
A tractor towing a squeegee drove around collecting water and lifted off a heap.
After about 3.45pm the players of both teams were on the field for their pre-match warm-ups, bowling at speed and fielding in the deep.
At 4.15pm we were told the field was too dangerous there would be another inspection at 4.45pm and subsequently at 5.30pm.
The squeegee wasn’t on the field.
As any farmer knows, if a field is wet at 4pm and there isn’t any sun, wind or squeegee to dry it the field will still be as wet at 5pm and 6pm.
Inspecting a field later in those conditions is farcical because the dew will set in.
That told me NZ Cricket desperately needs someone with good farming common sense.
You had the umpires wandering round pressing the grass with their hands while nodding sagely to each other.
Made me think of the three wise men, they only thing missing was the donkey.
They did inspect the field at 5.30pm and no-one heard a dickey bird from the powers that be until 6.20pm – great communication and rampant arrogance as far as their attitude to the cricketing public was concerned.
At 6.45pm the security on the pitch increased and we were told there would be no play today. What a pack of arrogant clowns. Are the Bay locals or visitors going to invade the pitch? In a word – no.
My issues are these:
The pitch was extensively watered the day before – why, when rain was predicted?
Why wasn’t more effort made to dry the ground?
Why are we getting so precious about cricket? The game could and should have been played.
The ANZ statement – be part of the excitement should be removed. In NZ Cricket’s case it is false advertising.
We had both teams sitting round for most of the afternoon. Why weren’t they out signing autographs? It would have been some consolation to my grandson and others like him.
The ground announcer said that tickets would be refunded. What about flights to and from Timaru and motel expenses?
In the middle of wine country and with a light crowd why did the wine run out just after 4pm?
Is anyone at NZ Cricket accountable for anything?
Finally, had any sheep polluted the pitch?
I accept you don’t play cricket in the rain but it wasn’t raining. We had an arrogant lack of communication and in my opinion total incompetence.
Sadly, I’m sure no-one at NZ Cricket would even consider shedding a tear for a totally devastated eight-year-old from Timaru.
