Routine makes it work
When Brendon Davison found himself a single parent to two young children he knew it was a sink-or-swim situation, but a thirst for knowledge and hunger to succeed mean he is climbing the dairy industry ladder, fast.
Brendon, 30, is a herd manager at a 450-cow farm at Mata, near Whangarei, and recently scooped the Northland Dairy Industry Awards, winning merit awards for both feed and livestock management before being crowned Northland Dairy Manager of the Year.
The farm is split into two herds of 225 cows and Brendon has sole responsibility for one herd on the farm, which operates as a system five, extended lactation property.
This was his first year entering the awards, which previously allowed only farm managers to enter. A change to the rules this year meant he was able to enter as a herd manager.
“It was on the list to achieve and I always thought I wouldn’t mind having a crack. I was over the moon (to win) but I think a lot of it comes down to my mind-set.”
And that mind-set is because of the other important job in Brendon’s life – as dad to Mya, 12, and Tremaine, 8.
Routine rules in Brendon’s world, and it has to, to keep things running like clockwork.
“Doing what I’m doing, raising two kids, I have a different mind-set. Everything I do in life is structured and very disciplined. I’m obsessed with self-improvement. I’m always trying to better myself.”
Part of his self-improvement involves reading for an hour every day about dairy farming, to learn something new. Before the awards, Brendon channelled his normal reading time into his presentation instead.
Despite leaving school at 15, when he started working in the dairy industry and lived in a caravan next to the dairy, Brendon values education highly. Since leaving school he has completed six agricultural training courses, at three levels, to qualify for a National Diploma in Agribusiness Management. His next goal is to gain a degree in agricultural science, once the kids are older.
“Once I completed my diploma I wanted to learn more about grass, so I wrote a book about grass, for myself. I showed the DIA judges, to show how obsessed and hungry I am.”
Brendon plans to go into partnership with his brother, who also works in the industry, to first go 50:50 sharemilking and eventually see if farm ownership is viable.
“I want to diversify my income and my goal is to be in the top 5% of sharemilkers-equity managers. Knowledge is power – that’s why I read so much.”
Raising the children does affect his social life, but Brendon chooses to see it as an opportunity to learn as much as possible.
“I’m using my situation to better my future and instil good values in the kids.”
Mya is his daughter but Tremaine is not his biological son, although the two children have the same mother. Brendon took Tremaine on when he was two weeks old.
“I didn’t want him to grow up to be a statistic.”
Their daily routine typically starts at 4.15am when Brendon gets up. He has hired a cabin, which is located at the dairy. At 4.20am he wakes the kids and they all drive to work.
The cabin is kitted out with bunk beds and all the facilities they need, like toilets and clean drinking water. The children go back to sleep until 7am, when Mya wakes up and gets them both breakfast and ready for school. Mya and Tremaine then go to the school bus with Brendon’s boss’s wife. After school the kids attend sports practice or go to a neighbour’s house. Sometimes Mya does her homework in the cabin.
“I’ve got a good network of people around me where the kids can go and hang out after school. It means they can still play sport – Mya does netball and Tremaine plays rugby league. After work I round them up, cook dinner, make sure homework is done and at 8pm when they go to bed, I go to the gym.”
Brendon has a home gym in his shed.
“I’m a bit of an iron addict. I retired from kick-boxing but I teach a couple of kids now. To compete at the level I wanted to compete at, I didn’t have the time to keep myself in that shape.”
It’s a gruelling routine, but Brendon says it’s worth it.
“I get the satisfaction of knowing they have a good life and knowing I can provide for them. My most fulfilling moment was when we were down at the beach, swimming together, and I thought ‘I pulled this off ’,” he says.
“It works like a well-oiled machine. People ask how I do it, but when you have something to do, you just do it. I can pursue my dreams and I can still raise my kids and instil the right values in them. Limitations only exist in the mind.
“You choose not to be a victim, but a victor. Regardless of my circumstances I’m still willing to better myself.”
Dairy farming has always been the career he wanted to pursue and when he became a solo parent three years ago it didn’t mean giving up his dream, just figuring out a way to make both roles work.
“Not many farms would have been supportive of my situation. You just have to communicate openly and honestly (with your boss) and make it work. When you have kids at stake you can’t beat about the bush – open and honest is the best policy.”
Ultimately, Brendon wants what most parents want – the best for his children.
Brendon’s advice for others:
• Have a support network of people who can help you
• Be open and honest with your boss
• It’s all about mind-set
• Regardless of the situation you might find yourself in, make the most of it. It’s your character that will define you.
Read more from the NZ Dairy Exporter:
Nanny State
The right attitude and community support has helped Myfanwy Alexander follow her dairy farming dream, while bringing up her two little girls.
Myfanwy, 29, who is originally from Wales, is co-manager of a 1000-cow dairy farm at Duntroon, inland from Oamaru.
Being a single parent to her two girls Emily, 6, and Isabelle, 5, and working fulltime is not always an easy road, especially with her family so far away, but Myfanwy is showing it’s possible to have a successful career in the dairy industry and spend quality time with her daughters.
She first came to New Zealand to do two months of practical dairy experience while studying at the Royal Agricultural University in Cirencester, England.
“I did calving and loved it so I came back eight years ago, been here ever since.”
Myfanwy Alexander moves a break, helped by Emily and Isabelle.
For her, the attraction of the NZ dairy industry is she can see a pathway to progress and move upwards.
“Since I was 12 I’ve wanted to be a farmer. My family are not farmers and everyone thought I was crazy and would grow out of it,” she says.
“There’s not a lot of potential to own your own farm in the United Kingdom. In NZ you can build something for your kids. If you work hard there’s the potential to own something of your own. The NZ system is just fantastic the way you can work your way up.”
While sharemilking is not such an attractive option for her, an equity management position is the next step in her plan.
“I don’t see sharemilking as the way I’m going to go because of the lack of stability. I still have to put food on the table and I don’t have two incomes to rely on. I need to pay for a nanny and their school things, that’s why the equity manager path suits me better as a single parent.”
She worked her way up from 2IC to assistant manager on farms around Waikato before she and the girls’ father moved south to take up a sharemilking position. When that relationship ended she finished the season sharemilking, alone, before starting her current job in June last year.
Managing means she is able to have regular time off to spend with the girls.
“We can’t take children on the farm for health and safety reasons so when I have time off I want to spend it with them.”
She admits single parenting and working in the dairy industry, as well as finding time for herself socially, is a massive undertaking, but she tries not to think of it that way.
“There’s no kindy at 3am so you just have to arrange different child care. I have a nanny. No boss should be judging you on being a single parent, as long as you can be professional and get the job done.”
Having great community support means a lot to her and she says it’s important not to be afraid to ask for help.
“I’m proud and it took me a long time to ask, but it takes a village to raise children. If something comes up I know half a dozen people would be there to help, if I needed them.”
It also helps she has a great boss who is understanding of having a young family.
“If there’s a school meeting or athletics day, as long as he has enough notice and we can work it, I can go. You do have to be sensible though, I can’t get to every swimming lesson.”
She puts making it all work down to attitude.
“It’s an attitude – it’s in your head. If you only see barriers then you won’t do it. It’s amazing how things can fall into place. Not thinking of it (single parenting) as a problem is the big thing, even though it can be hard at times.”
Myfanwy says having a nanny is necessary to enable her to get ahead.
“Child care is an expense, but it will help you get ahead ultimately.”
Then there are the everyday struggles every mother faces, like exhaustion.
“When you’re tired and have had a long day at work it can be hard to be happy, cheery mummy.”
Meeting people and socialising can also be difficult.
“In many rural areas a lot of mums are at home. Coffee mornings and play dates during the day are not possible if you’re working, but it’s just a different world, you can’t get too hung up on missing those things.”
Instead, she has found other social outlets, like the local Dairy Women’s Network group.
“That’s been great and makes you feel like there are other females out there doing it, and you can speak up.”
Myfanwy is also vice-chairwoman of the Five Forks Young Farmers Club and is keen on her hunting. After she finished the solo sharemilking job she treated herself to a rifle and enjoys hunting the deer and wallabies found locally.
Having all her family in Wales is tough at times, although they are very supportive of her and technology these days helps.
“I’m very close to my father and stepmother. I’m the oldest of seven girls. It’s hard, but your friends are the family you choose and I’ve been lucky with many wonderful friends.”
Despite the challenges, her unfailingly positive attitude and love of the industry and her girls make it all worthwhile.
“The best thing is the sense of achievement. It’s your own achievement and it’s setting a good example for the girls, I hope. Isabelle says she wants to be a dairy, sheep and beef farmer, and a hunter. I would like to be able to set them up and provide them with the best in life, and to have a comfortable retirement.
“I always thought I’d own my own cows by 30 but I think that’s gone out the window – I’ve only got a week left – but I’d like to own my own small farm, about 350 cows. My other goal is to be on Country Calendar.”
Myfanwy’s advice for others:
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help – swallow your pride and you’ll find lots of people are willing to help, as long as you give back to the community too
• Be upfront with your boss about what your needs are – Myfanwy has at least one day of every weekend off to spend with the girls. “Be strong enough to voice what matters to you and your family.”
• Bite the bullet and get a nanny. “There’s no other way to do it with the hours in dairying.”
For more inspiring stories from the dairy industry, check out the regional Dairy Industry Award winners or consider a subscription to the NZ Dairy Exporter.
