Friday, March 29, 2024

Boars to baristas

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After having my cataract removed everything seemed so much brighter and bigger. My wrinkles had turned into crevasses, the cobwebs hung down like icicles, and dust seemed to cling to all the furniture, of which I seem to have an over-abundant supply.
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You see, I can’t bear to part with anything. I hang onto junk, trash, and treasure. I think it’s hereditary – a relative of mine died during World War II hanging onto a hand grenade. I’m sure it also has something to do with my parents living through the Depression then World War II. Even rusty bent nails were saved and on a wet day straightened out to be reused.

I was quite exhausted after attempting to clean up so I was very happy to take a day off for the Probus midwinter Christmas dinner where young Dick said to me “So what’s with the three eyes?” I was wearing specs with one lens missing till I got back to the optician.

Dick shared his doubts over his sight, fearing he may not pass his forth-coming eye test for his car licence. He said in 80 years of driving he had never had a ticket or a car accident, although he did confess to having written off two aeroplanes during the war as a fighter pilot – he is 92 years old. I assured him we would help him choose a mobility scooter to which Mr Fix-it –John – would combine two batteries giving him enough power to make the two kilometres into town.

The next day John called in with a bucket of kumaras for me, more gratefully accepted than a box of chocolates, and a book his daughter Kim had written called Less is More – How to de-clutter your life. Kim is a professional de-clutterer and explains with true Kiwi can-do attitude how to START: SORT: then STOP and learn to live with less and enjoy it more. I’m working on it.

Over lunch John told me when he was 15years old his father had assumed he would leave school and join the family plumbing business but he had been offered a chance to study at Flock House, an agricultural training centre near Bulls, for a year. There he enjoyed learning to drive tractors and even a horse-drawn reaper and binder for harvesting oats. This experience led him to a 60-cow dairy farm as a worker and he has lasting memories of the massive marrows these folk grew. They had those tasteless, insipid-looking vegetables boiled for dinner every night and fried up for breakfast or lunch for more than a month, and then he found out they had a late crop of marrows coming on.

‘The same night they found out they would be sleeping in tents not far from where lions were killing elephants.’

His next job, at 17 years old, was in Gisborne on a sheep and cattle station. His boss listened to his suggestions to the point of providing him with a new David Brown tractor. It wasn’t suitable for the job so the next day the boss went out and bought a USA Oliver tractor that was perfect. John stayed there for 18 months, finally returning home to work in the family’s business where he taught himself refrigeration.

At a gymkhana he met his lovely schoolteacher wife Helen and they decided to go pig farming locally with 150 sows and up to 1500 pigs at one time supplying the Trim Pork Trade. Their daughter Kim took great delight in bringing her school mates home to show them new-born piglets and here they witnessed one of the most unusual sights when some men came for a chopper pig for their hangi. The pig was confined to the narrow race where execution took place, then like a headless chook it got up and staggered up the loading ramp and obligingly fell horizontally into the open boot of the buyers’ Valiant car parked below.

After 16 years of pigs the family sold up and moved to Auckland where they bought a franchise in a coffee shop, so they went from boars to barista. Helen was the main cook and John the barista. This lifestyle change was a very enjoyable experience for four years and they made many friends before returning home to retire and tick off their bucket list.

After travelling to Alaska they, along with 14 others, booked a trip and ventured forth on a South African safari in an ex-army truck which broke down on day one. I asked John what was wrong with it and he assured me I wouldn’t have enough pages to list the faults –it had a serious oil leak, then the alternator belt broke and they had to push start it each morning till a replacement belt arrived. On another occasion John had to help the driver repair the fuel line. The same night they found out they would be sleeping in tents not far from where lions were killing elephants. On the final morning in the desert their vehicle wouldn’t start until John spotted the problem – the batteries needed changing around. Kiwi know-how saved the day.

Now I seem to have mislaid Kim’s book which I had only half-read. I figured if I hadn’t cleaned up I would know where it was, because as long as there is a pile of junk there is always the anticipation of finding what you are looking for. It just MIGHT be under that pile and who knows what other hidden treasures you might find.

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